The first time I was exposed to the idea that you can influence your own levels of happiness was in an intro Psychology course my senior year of high school, where the teacher had us watch the movie The Secret. In my reflection paper, I clearly remember writing that, although a lovely concept, it was absurd and naïve to believe that the universe could, let alone would, grant your every wish. On my returned paper, the teacher noted that I was “quite the cynic” and sarcastically apologized for making me suffer through the film. Although a handful of the ideas were logical, most sounded like part of another silly pop culture movement. I laughed inside when my 30-something year old teacher said that he carried a “gratitude rock” with him at all times. I couldn’t believe people actually bought this stuff.

I’m neither a cynic or a pessimist, nor do consider myself to be overly enthusiastic about life. However I get a lot of “you’re always smiling,” “your optimism is contagious,” and “how are you always so happy?” It seems that people perceive me as happier than the average person, whether or not that is actually the case. I would say that my happiness has always been close to my baseline regardless of external circumstances, although – like with everything – there are always exceptions. However, thinking back five years when I first saw The Secret, I can’t recall whether I believed this happiness came from within or was due to uncontrollable outside events.

Interestingly, about a year after seeing The Secret for the first time, my mom received the DVD as a Christmas gift from her sister. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I was far more receptive to its messages and actually attempted to implement some of the strategies in my own life. I started making lists of things I was grateful for, attempted to notice positive little things around me, and even created a vision board. As Sonja Lyubormirsky suggests in her book The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, learning to implement these habits often takes both time and practice. So despite my efforts after first viewing The Secret, most of the concepts were too abstract for me too conceptualize and did not come naturally, so I quickly lost interest and motivation. Although I believe it did have a positive effect on me, I think the investment heavily outweighed the results. However, this experience led to another, which I feel benefitted me.

Within the first thirty minutes of watching “The Secret” for the first time, my mom walked away saying “none of these are new ideas, they’ve just been streamlined”. For several years, my mom was a very successful businesswoman – she was passionate about what she did, she was making six-figures on a bachelor’s in education, and her life outside the business was great. Over the years, she had accumulated dozens of books that were, in one way or another, related to positive-thinking yourself into success. It was upon realizing this real-life example that I began skeptically accepting that crazy idea that maybe thinking positively really could affect your situation. Although I had very little interest in business, I started reading books on how to bolster sales, improve client relations, and achieve my goals. I found little that could be implemented in my own life, but I found the concepts to be engaging and inspirational. Even though I wasn’t personally convinced of its authenticity, I thought it was neat that other people had enough faith to shape their lives around it. By this point, I had shrugged aside my cynical rejection and accepted positive thinking as a strategy that may or may not work, and that applies only to those who put in ungodly amounts of effort.

About two years after my last encounter with the positive thinking ideas, I stumbled across a copy of “The Secret” book on my little sister’s bookshelf and read it for the sake of boredom. Although I swear it’s verbatim from the movie, I much prefer the version lacking an elephant in the living room. I feel like all the unnecessary visuals in the movie take away from any chance of it being taken seriously. I read the book solely because I didn’t want to spend $24 on a new leisure read, nor did I want to reread an old one; however, I was pleasantly surprised by how much my happiness increased while reading the book, with little to no effort of my part. When it comes to the universe partaking in great things on my behalf, I consider myself a skeptical optimist. When good things happen it may be fate, it may be coincidence, or it could just be noticing something you wouldn’t normally.

While reading “The Secret” I had an old friend contact me out of the blue after several years without contact. I bought a used copy of Bright Shiny Morning online and was ecstatic when I opened the book and saw that it had been signed by James Frey. I was doing well in school, noticing people smiling, and feeling more appreciative for everything in my life. Looking at these examples, I think that the primary effect of positive thoughts is a shift in one’s way of thinking. One of my best-fitting activities in “The How of Happiness” was expressing gratitude. I think that this comes more naturally for me than a lot of things. Although I sometimes make a conscious effort to increase gratitude, I like Lyubomirsky’s suggestion to vary what you’re doing so you don’t burn out, which is what I think happened to me in my past attempts.

After reading a bit about the psychology of happiness, I’m far less skeptical about one’s ability to change their happiness levels. However, despite all of the empirical evidence supporting the validity of the concept, I think that hardest part is implementing a change in one’s life and maintaining it throughout their lifetime.

Since learning about the empirical evidence supporting the psychology of happiness, I’ve developed a passion for the subject and I’m going to share some of my favorite books and key points about positive psychology in a later post.