Tag Archives: guest post

Wide Enough For Two by Chris @ Just Me 365

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Today we have a guest post from Chris at Just Me 365. His writing consists of a raw honesty, vivid descriptiveness, and poetic eloquence. It’s the type of writing that gives you the chills because you experience all the emotions that the writer clearly poured into the piece. This particular story of phenomenal!

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It was a full moon tonight.  It’s cool glow made brighter by the darkness of the surrounding universe.  It was even hard to see all but the brightest stars thanks to the luminescence of the reflected star bouncing off the orbiting space rock.  Yet he still found his friends.  Ursa major.  Orion.  Draco.  Cassiopeia.  All had gathered on this cloudless night, despite the brightness of the moon.

He started to walk.  It was a dirt path.  One that cut through the fields.  His fields.  And his ancestors fields.  And before that….who knows?  It was too cold for the crickets and frogs to sing out.  Only the crunch of sand and gravel beneath his boots dare cut into the silence of the night.  Even the wind held its breath, lest it disturb his thoughts.

The earth sighed into the cold air.  It’s breath formed into puffs of cloud that blanketed the path he walked.  It wrapped around him, wanting him to stay a while, but he pressed on.  He just wanted to walk.  To think.  About her.

He had never met someone quite like her.  Nor would he again in this lifetime.  Maybe not in a million lifetimes.  He shakes his head.  He is far from sappy….but, sometimes honesty seems that way.

She was pretty.  Beautiful, even.  The one you see across a crowded room.  The one you notice at the end of the bar.  The one you don’t think you have a snowball’s chance in hell with.  Yet, somehow you talk to her.  You get close enough to see that her eyes don’t just reflect the stars….they are the stars.  That her hair was made to be touched.  Her hands made to be held.  Her mind and wit interesting and never dull.  Her voice, one that you would never tire of.  Her laugh warm enough to melt your heart and her smile gentle enough to catch it as it falls.

But, he didn’t want to fall.  He lied.  He wanted to fall.  He just didn’t feel he was worth falling for.  All he had was himself.  He had lost everything after years of pain and neglect.  Of trials and loss.  Even after being free from those years for a while now, the consequences crippled him.  That was him.  An emotional cripple.  One that lashed out at pity, found solace in depression, and denied love.

He couldn’t deny her, though.  The more she looked his way.  The more she talked.  The more he learned.  The closer she was.  He was falling.  But, it was the smile that did it.  The smile that was just for him.  He was done for.

Then he hurt her.  Unintentionally.  And his heart broke.  Because hers did.  And then she hurt him.  Intentionally.  And his heart broke again.  Which is why he was walking tonight.  He was at a cross roads.  To love her or to walk away.  He had already fallen in love.  He berated himself for how quickly it happened, but also could not lie to himself and say it didn’t.  But, now, it wasn’t about falling anymore.  It was about choosing.

He had already been through this.  12 years of it.  12 years of someone letting their pain and hurt find its release in attacking him.  In reminding of his faults and failures.  Of his shortcomings and missteps.  Of his mistakes and the fact that he deserved to be hurt because of the things he had done to hurt her.  And he believed it all.  Every last word.  Because it was true.  He had hurt her.  And he could handle the pain….if it meant she was happy.  But, we all know how that story ends.

So that is why he was walking.  The cold moon looking down and patiently waiting.  His breath joined the earths’ as more mist surrounded him.  He stopped so he could hear the silence.  He closed his eyes.  He prayed.  And he made a choice.

You see, he believes in love.  In forgiveness.  In grace.  In honesty.  In truth.  He believes in forgetfulness and true strength.  He believes in the heart’s song.  He believes in her.

So he chose what he believes in his heart is true.  What he knows he is strong enough to believe in….no matter the outcome.  He chooses to love her no matter whether that love is returned or not.  Because it is true…and because it is truly him.

Tear drops shatter the stillness as they fall to the earth.  The sound seems to echo through the night.  Through the soul.  His face glistens in the full moon as he heads towards home.  He pulls out his phone, texts her “good night”, seals it with a kiss, and is finally at peace with himself on this cool night, under the full moon.

He thinks of his bed and the oblivion of sleep.  His body wends its way towards the covers as his heart wends its way towards her.  Whether or not his love is returned is ok as he never thought he would love again.  That he would never choose that road again.  But, he did.  And like the moonlit path he took tonight, it is wide enough for two.

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If you enjoy it, be sure to check out more of Chris’ work at Just Me 365!

Living in the world that is, not the world you wish it was

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Like myself, Jonathan is the type of person who strives to live a meaningful and purpose-driven life, partially through his thoughtful and inspiration posts, as well as his wonderfully insightful comments on others’ posts. If you enjoy my topics and writing style than I’m sure you’ll love this post.

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Living in the world that is, not the world you wish it was by Jonathan

First off, I’d like to thank Erin for the chance to do a guest spot. I found Analyfe a few months back and subscribed immediately. I love her approach to writing and the honest yet positive attitude she brings to the table.

I have to admit, this is the first opportunity I’ve had to do a guest spot on another person’s blog. I’m not quite sure of the etiquette, but I’m betting that now would be a good time to tell you a little bit about myself. Let’s start with the demographics.  My name is Jonathan Oakes, I’m a 30-something married guy with no children living in Jacksonville Florida. Overall I’m a very happy person. I’m a Christ-follower and a successful businessman.

Things weren’t always so easy peasy. My young life was difficult. I was one of those unfortunate children that others picked on constantly to feel better about themselves. I didn’t help matters any, I was a know-it-all nerd who was trying too hard to be something different. Believe it or not, things grew worse as I got older. I fashioned myself into a tough guy and spent more time hurting the people around me than I care to admit.

I’m a completely different person now. The change came as the result of two events, watershed moments if you will, both of which happened in my mid-twenties. First, I lost 175 pounds. That’s not a typo. I used a combination of Weight Watchers and 4 days a week in the gym for a year and a half to drop from 425lbs to 250lbs. Check out this article if you’d like to hear more about that experience. Near the end of that process I reached my second big moment. I finally submitted my life to God. I stopped blaming Him for my pain and admitted the fact that I had created my own world.

That’s my line in the sand. Since then my life has been amazing, and believe me, that’s not an exaggeration. I found the love of my life and got married. I have been recognized for my contributions at work and have had the opportunity to climb the corporate ladder at an accelerated pace. I’m flat out blessed; I don’t know a better way to describe it. As the years have passed I’ve developed a real love for people. I want to see everyone grow. I want to see people develop into the best person that they can be and to push their way past their problems and struggles to accomplish great things. This is my purpose for writing. If I can look back years after I’ve finished writing and find that I positively impacted a single person’s life then I will consider it time well spent.

Hmm… 5 paragraphs. I can see that going to have to work on the length of my intros otherwise I’ll never get invited back. Today’s topic is about living in the world that is, not in the world as you wish it was. It struck me one day a few weeks back. I was watching some poor soul on a reality show struggling with a situation that was completely unfair. This person’s run on the show ended that night because she was stuck on the fact that the thing she was dealing with was unfair. She was stuck in neutral while the others around her figured out their strategies and started pushing forward. She lost because she couldn’t put the way she thought things should work behind her and deal with reality.

Soon after that I began to notice similar behavior at work. This is when it really struck me. Reality TV is one thing, but work is in the real world. When people fail in the real world it has real life consequences. I started paying closer attention to people’s behavior and realized that it was not a rarity. It turns out that this type of behavior is prevalent. For example, I know a person that is desperately trying to deliver on a big project. They are frantically busy doing more and more work within their existing paradigm to achieve success. The problem is that their existing paradigm does not include the inputs and opportunities necessary to achieve true success. Yet, when people explain this to them and suggest alternatives that will help them they smile politely and ignore the advice. It’s as if they are saying, ‘that’s nice, but you don’t understand how things work in my world’.

Maybe I’m using the wrong title here. It isn’t necessarily people getting trapped in the way that they want the world to work. The more I think about it, the more I think that it’s a case of people trying to follow the rules and believing that it will result in success. It reminds me of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Harry had the potions book with all of the extra notes inside and was succeeding wildly because of those instructions. I remember Hermione being very frustrated. See, Hermione had built a career on following the rules to the letter. This is why she did so much better than others at different things. However, when Harry used information that wasn’t “appropriate” she was frustrated by it. If she had wanted, she could have studied his book and learned to do those things better for herself but instead she was frustrated with her own inability to succeed with her standard set of instructions.

It’s obvious which side of this topic I stand on. I believe in getting things done. Today I was introduced to a new project manager. We’re going to be working together on multiple initiatives for a little while. I was upfront about my personality as we talked. I described myself as a conscientious rule breaker. It was pretty funny. He looked at me like I was crazy. I explained that I felt that rules were important and it was very important for someone to be focused on them to keep us all out of trouble. That being said, the person looking at them won’t be me.  I’m going to focus all of my attention on what we’re trying to accomplish and take whatever actions I know to take to achieve success. However, because I respect the need for rules, I promised that I would keep him informed of my plans and actions and that I would find a different way of accomplishing my goals if he felt that the way that I outlined would break an important rule. Moving forward in this manner we’ll achieve great success. I’ll help us get where we need to go and he’ll make sure I don’t get us all fired on the way there.

See, that’s what the rules are really about. The rules that we live within are not designed to promote success. They typically have nothing to do with success. Rules are put in place to keep us from getting in trouble. For example, a speed limit of 55 mph does not help me get to where I’m going faster. However, it can help me stay out of trouble on a wet road or a road with unanticipated features. There are other rules that are designed to make sure things are fair to everybody. These are very important rules, but once again, they have nothing to do with success.

If following the rules led to success in this world then we would have way more very successful people. Success comes from identifying a goal and figuring out the fastest and most effective way of accomplishing that goal. Success is challenged by changing factors and conditions. It is also challenged by unexpected roadblocks and many times it is hampered by rules that have to be followed. The person who will be the most successful is not the person who keeps going in the same direction after challenges have presented themselves. The most successful person is the one who finds ways around the challenges in his own way and accomplishes his goals in spite of those challenges.

Let me give you a couple of examples to drive this point home. I can remember multiple stories in the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book is littered with stories about people who tried and tried to make a contact or a sale. I remember one in particular was about a designer who was trying to win a contract to design things for a major corporation. The standard process was for him to design something, set up time with the right person from the company and sell him on the features of what he designed. The problem was that this person was never buying from him. He also found issues and flaws in what the person was designing. Then one day the designed decided to work outside of the rules. He showed up with a design framework that was unfinished and put it in front of the purchaser. He showed the purchaser the basics and asked him how he would modify it to meet his needs. The buyer made a few adjustments that the designer agreed to and immediately the buyer made an order for work to start.

If the designer had stayed within those rules then he would have never sold a thing. However, when he stepped out of the rules and stopped being blocked in by the way things were supposed to go, then he was finally able to achieve success. Sometimes you have to do things differently. It’s easy to get trapped in a world of templates where we follow examples other people have set. Did you ever stop to think that the person who left might not have been successful? That means that the template you are following will prevent you from being successful as well. Successful people think for themselves and they don’t worry about how other people are doing things unless they see that other people are more successful than they are.

The other example that comes to mind is Trent Dilfer. Trent Dilfer was the quarterback of the Baltimore Ravens when they won the Super Bowl in 2000. Trent Dilfer is a solid example of someone who followed the rules. As a quarterback he was known as a game manager, someone who you put in the quarterback position that would minimize mistakes. When people remember the Baltimore Ravens team from that year do they talk about how Trent Dilfer led them to a Super Bowl victory? No. They actually talk about how the team won the Super Bowl in spite of Trent Dilfer. That’s an example of what it’s like when you succeed as someone who was focused on following the rules. You are seen as someone who got lucky or someone who was carried by the others around you.

On the other end of the spectrum you have Ben Roethlisberger. Roethlisberger is the current quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He’s been in the league for 7 years, won 2 Super Bowls and nearly won a 3rd last year against the Green Bay Packers. Roethlisberger has spent his career surrounded by a team just as talented as Dilfer. But when people talk about Roethlisberger now they don’t waste time talking about how he’s a good game manager. No, he is known now as a person that leads his team to success. With Dilfer, even on a great team, everything had to break just right to achieve great success. With Roethlisberger, even when things are going wrong, the team feels confident about their chance to succeed. This is because Roethlisberger will improvise, he will break free from a defender, run around and buy the time necessary for someone to get open and then deliver the ball. He doesn’t achieve success by being safe or by doing things the way that you’re taught. He achieves success because he is determined to make something happen.

My question to you is this, do you want to be the person who spends their energy doing things exactly as their told and following the rules exactly as they are laid out? Or, do you want to be a person who spends their time thinking about how to make things happen, how to accomplish a challenging objective? The first person can achieve success, but it will be slow process. It is the second person that drives change. It is the second person who can accomplish greatness. Personally, I’d rather be a person that strived to accomplish great things and failed than the person who stays in line wondering why it seems like everybody is passing me by. What about you?

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Jonathan blogs at Bootstraps: Living Life with a Purpose. If you liked this guest post, please go check out some of his other great post and discussions.

Why Blogging Isn’t a Waste of Time

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Allison and Shikole of The Real Post Grad recently invited me to write a guest post for their site. The topic I choose was Why Blogging Isn’t a Waste of Time. I would love for you to go check it out and let me know what you think. Be sure to explore the rest of their site – there are some wonderful posts on post-grad life!

The New Job Requirements

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I recently discovered The Real Post Grad through 20 Something Bloggers and was immediately hooked. Shikole and Allison share their thoughts, hopes, and experiences as recent graduates; this is a topic that is very relevent to me, as well as several of you, so I’m thrilled to share this wonderful post.

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The New Job Requirements by Shikole & Allison @ The Real Post Grad

Having a job is important. We need to pay the rent somehow right? But many of us Post Grads don’t realize how long we will really be spending at a job when we take one. Before now most of us have held jobs, but they were either part time, only for the summer, internships or odd jobs like babysitting. Having a full time job for an extended period of time is different. You spend at least 40 hours a week at this place, with the same people, doing pretty much the same things. After being at our current jobs for over a year, we now have a list of priorities that we will consider when it’s time to look for our next full time gig.

Shikole:

  1. Hours that are set in stone. I do not like having a job that is open ended and makes me feel guilty for leaving. I want to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that it will be the same time every day.
  2. A lunch break. The down side of being at a company in the midst of expansion is that we are often short staffed and I have to work through lunch.
  3. Some relation to my field. My current job was random and does not relate at all to what I studied or what I want to do. It’s taught me a lot of new things, but I want to work in my field.
  4. A real desk that is just mine. When I started I was taking over a position and the desk was already full of stuff. I felt like I had to pick up where she left off instead if starting things my way.

Allison:

  1. For my next position, I’d ideally want to work in a more collaborative work environment, or have a writing job where I can interact with and interview people on a daily basis. Right now, I’m the only person in the public relations “department” at my office. Aside from my supervisors, no one completely understands what I do to contribute to the company and I miss having coworkers to share ideas with.
  2. Flexible hours. I work the standard 8:30-5 job right now, which I enjoy at some points, but I often wish I could come in early certain days to shorten my week, or have the option to work from the quiet of my apartment occasionally. I don’t think it would hinder my productivity at all. In fact, I think working in different environments from time to time actually helps me to think more creatively.
  3. Variety. Since I work in public relations for a small company, I focus on the same topics day after day. I write blogs, newsletters, and press releases all based around one very specific industry. I hope that in my next job I will be able to branch out more, either by working within an agency that caters to different clients, or through a freelance career where I write articles on a wide range of topics.

While we’re certainly thankful for our current full time position and incomes, we think it’s a great idea for all post grads to write out a list of your wants and needs in the workplace. Try to think past the career itself, and focus on your working style when making the list. Are you creative or more practical? Would you prefer and open-ended schedule or set hours? Do you prefer to work alone or in groups? You may not be able to find a job that fits everything on your list, but having an idea of what you want can help you to think more clearly about each position you consider applying for.

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Feel free to visit Shikole and Allison at The Real Post Grad to find learn more about their daily thoughts, hopes, and experiences as recent graduates.

Apple Core Adventure by Calling Co.

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I recently reached out to all of my readers and offered everyone an opportunity to guest post on my site, granted the posts are relevant, appropriate, and well-written. I was excited when I received a wonderfully descriptive poem from Calling Co., titled Apple Core Adventures. I hope you enjoy! 

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We all have an idea of life -
Of adventures filled with ecstasy
And apple cores, with histories so succulent.

It’s all a lavish culture of motion -
Dancing and diving around obstacles,
To arrive at far-off, forbidden fruit.

That’s the goal: to eat the apple -
Taking each bite as fully as we can,
And have sweet nectar glisten as it slides down our chins.

We all live in a moment,
A single, constant motion,
The motion of life, of growth, and age.

We forget the cores, the seeds, the garbage,
And let them pile up in hidden landfills
So we’re left with joy, instead of sorrow.

We seek sweet salvation
Among gardens tended by wisdom
Acquired only by joyfulness.

We all live for the moment -
The moment when everything is perfect,
When motion stops, and apples ripen -
And we are there – ready and waiting.

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Calling Co. blogs at That Was Alliteration. Check it out!

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On Marriage, by Jessica @ Faith Permeating Life

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As many of you know, I recently discovered and became involved in the social community of 20 Something Bloggers. I was lucky enough to discover several new and insightful bloggers, one of my favorites being Jessica at Faith Permeating Life. Jessica was kind enough to share this wonderful post and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

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When my now-husband and I first started dating, I refused to call him my boyfriend.

We were dating each other exclusively, with the understanding that neither of us would be committing ourselves to this if we didn’t think marriage was an eventual possibility. And yet I absolutely refused to put a label on our relationship. We were Jessica and Mike, and whatever our Jessica-and-Mike relationship evolved into, that’s what it would be.

We were freshmen in college, and I was attempting to rebel against the only kind of relationship I knew: the high school one in which, as soon as you started “going out,” your boyfriend had the implicit right to hold your hand, put his arm around you, kiss you.

I wanted none of it. My body was my own. Whatever Mike wanted from me, he was going to have to earn himself, not through some title and the associated privileges bestowed upon him.

And he did.

He asked if he could hold my hand. He treated my body and my time with the utmost reverence, and understood that they were his only in my giving, not his taking. He respected my wish to save my first kiss for my wedding day, a wish fulfilled at the altar, with him, almost five years later.

Our wedding was centered around a theme of service, the same message that he had focused his proposal on: Jesus came not to rule, but to serve. Let us choose to serve each other for the rest of our lives.

It’s a notion that seems at odds with my independent, autonomous self. Yet that, to me, was the power of my wedding vows. I was choosing not to put myself first, but to put someone else’s needs and desires first, and to trust that he would do the same for me.

It helps that I have a partner as strongly committed to service as I am. For every burden I take on that seems completely unfair, I know that he will step up and do more than his part at another time. I never feel like I’m being the “submissive woman” making sacrifices for my husband; it’s simply part of the agreement we both made when we got married.

That’s not to say it’s easy. I still grumble sometimes when he asks me to do something, or think “he better appreciate this” when I take care of something he was supposed to do and forgot. But it happens less and less as I push myself to use the language of service and love over the language of sacrifice and “fairness.”

When I started college, I swore I would never get married because I didn’t want to be limited in my career possibilities. When I graduated college, I was trying desperately to find a job anywhere in the Chicago area, even if it wasn’t in my field, because that’s where my fiancé had a year of grad school left.

But by then, it didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. And now I’ve got a husband who is primed to follow me wherever in the world my career path leads and to stay home with our future kids so I don’t have to stop doing what I love.

My body, my time, my life are still my own, but I choose to share them freely because married love is unconditional love. And I’m blessed enough to be with a man who gives me everything he’s got as well.

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Jessica blogs at Faith Permeating Life, where you’ll find straight talk on marriage, faith, money, sex, and happiness. You can also find her as keepbabbling on Twitter.

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Calling All Guest Bloggers!

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I follow several of your blogs and would love to help facilitate more connections because I feel that meeting like-minded others is one of the greatest benefits of blogging. If anyone would be interested in sharing a guest post on my blog, let me know. I was invited to guest post back in January about my reaction to the shooting in Tucson (by a blog that’s no longer existent) and loved being able to connect with a new group of bloggers.

There would be no requirements. I would simply ask that your post follow the loose theme of my blog – insight, analysis, wisdom, experiences, life lessons, positive thoughts, etc.

If anyone is interested, you can either leave a comment or email me at analyfe.wordpress@gmail.com. In addition, if anyone has any particular topics they would like me to write about, suggestions are always welcome!