Tag Archives: family

125 characters just doesn’t cut it

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Today I am attending the first of two graduation ceremonies. At noon, hundreds of graduating seniors from the College of Science will pile into the McKale Memorial Center. A sea of navy blue will fill the floor-level of the arena. One by one, our names will be called as we approach the stage and receive our diplomas. Then in synchrony, we’ll flip our tassels and release the biggest smiles of our lives.

For this smaller ceremony we are given the opportunity to have a 125 character message appear on the big screen during our thirty seconds of fame. But what are you supposed to write? An inspiring quote, a thank you to mom and dad, something funny?

My screen will be blank, with the exception of my name and degree. I’ve never been to a college graduation, so I don’t know what people write and Google wasn’t much help. From the ideas I did gather up, I couldn’t make up my mind. I’m indecisive. I like words too much. I could never express anything, let alone everything, in a mere 125 characters.

My screen may be blank at graduation, but my mind  and my heart are not. What follows is my 2,272 character graduation message.

To my mother and father, thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made to give me and my siblings the best education possible; thank you for continually nudging me out of my comfort zone, but never to the point of extreme discomfort; thank you for paying attention to me, my learning style, and interests and always nurturing my strengths; thank you for helping me live up to my full potential. I love you both so much!

To my younger brother and sister, thank you for being two of my best friends; thank you for looking up to me and giving me one more reason to do my best; thank you for being such wonderful and well-rounded individuals - I am so proud to call you family. I know you will both go on to do great things; know that I will alway be here to support you in all of you endeavors. I love you!

To my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family, and close family friends, thank you. In a generation of broken homes and divided families I realize how lucky I am to not only be surrounded by my immediate family, but relatives as well. I am eternally grateful to have such a strong, close-knit, supportive, and fun group of people around. I love you all!

To my friends, thank you for the good times and for your support in the rougher times; thank you for improving my quality of life and making my experiences what they were. I hope that our friendships extend far beyond graduation, but if not know that I’ll always hold these memories dear and I will never forget your kindness and friendships.

To my teachers and mentors, thank you for instilling a love of learning in me, for your constructive criticism, and for the interesting stories and obscure facts that made learning even better. Thank you for dedicating you life to such an admirable cause – education. Please know that you are greatly appreciated by parents and students alike, even if we never muster up the courage to say so.

To my fellow graduates, congratulations. Although you’ve run over me with your bikes, stolen my pens, and at times annoyed me beyond belief, you all deserve this and I wish you all the best. Remember that “you don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to. You can do good things for yourself and make the world a better place at the same time” (Chris Guillebeau).

My sister

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“But what about the chocolate?”

My brother was born on Good Friday, right before Easter. While my family waited in the hospital waiting room, the Easter eggs scattered throughout my grandparent’s backyard were being scorched by the hot Arizona sun. By the time they were discovered, the chocolate candies had been transformed into a sticky brown liquid. Even at the age of two, I wasn’t going to touch it. 

When my little sister was about to be born on Palm Sunday four years later, I had to be sure that those poor chocolate easter bunnies weren’t destined to the same fate as their ancestors.

Six years is a pretty big age difference. Thus, my sister and I weren’t very close throughout most of our childhood. However, we’ve made up for lost time over the last year or two. We enjoy watching Disney movies, doing crafts, shopping, and being silly together.

Today, my baby sister is turning sixteen. I can’t believe it! She’s beautiful, intelligent, kind, and has her eyes set on the stars. I’m so proud of the wonderful young lady she has become and am so excited to see what the future holds for her. She’s one of my best friends and I hope that we remain partners-in-crime and continue to grow closer each year.

Happy sweet sixteenth, Megan!

My brother

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When I was about two, my mother informed me she was pregnant with my younger sibling. One of my earliest memories was her asking, “Do you want a younger brother or a younger sister?” I thought about it for a moment and excitedly replied, “I want a big brother!” My mother smiled and laughed lightly. I immediately sensed that I had given a wrong answer.

Or maybe that didn’t happen. Our minds play tricks on us; our memories get lost, altered, and diluted over time. However, I can assure you that this anticipation and desire for an older brother was one of the earliest and, to this day, strongest feelings I have ever experienced. Even at a very young age, I wanted someone to watch over me, protect me, take care of me, and most of all someone to be my friend. I wanted a big brother.

I didn’t get the big brother I so desperately longed for, but the baby brother I was blessed with was even better than anything I could have imagined. As kids we did everything together – we climbed trees, collected bugs, spent hours building with K’NEX and Legos, read books for hours on end, constructed furniture forts, and discussed life’s big issues, such as how to talk mommy into giving us just one more cookie and how to convince daddy that we couldn’t possibly live without another puppy.

Like any other relationship, we’ve gone through phases of being embarrassed of one another and not wanting anything to do with the other. Luckily we’ve outgrown that (hopefully for good) and are closer than ever. We go to concerts together, go out for lunch, shopping, the movies, and while I’m away at school we connect over Facebook whenever possible

I am so grateful to have such a wonderful, supportive, and loving family. Today, I’m celebrating the birth and the life of my baby brother and one of my best friends.

Happy 20th birthday, Matthew!

Enlightened Perspective

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I’ve learned … That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned … That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned … That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

I’ve learned … That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned … That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned … That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned … That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned … That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned … That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned … That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned … That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned … That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned … That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned … That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned … That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned … That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned … That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned … That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned … That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned … That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned … That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned … That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned … That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned … That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned … That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned … That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned … That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I’ve learned … That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned … That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned … That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned … That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned … That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned … That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.

I’ve learned … That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Andy Rooney

The privileged life

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What is privilege? Does it have to with financial wealth? Is it entitlement to special opportunities? Or is it something entirely different?

I would argue that it’s the latter.

I lived the privileged life.

  • My family didn’t have cable.
  • We were only allowed to drink soda on special occasions, such as restaurant visits and birthday parties, both of which never seemed to happen often enough. 
  • I didn’t go on weekly, nor even monthly shopping trips for new clothes. I probably owned 7 or 8 outfits at any given time.
  • I rarely got new toys.
  • I never went to dance lessons and I never learned piano.
  • I didn’t have private tutors to help me with my homework.

None of these things, which are often associated with privilege, were a part of my life.

No, I didn’t come from a wealthy family, but…

  • My parents made countless sacrifices to put me and my younger siblings through 12 years of Catholic school, which provided us a strong academic background and a solid moral foundation.
  • We ate dinner as a family nearly every night, discussing what we’d done each day, as well as what we were all thankful for.
  • We went to church each week, as a family.
  • My siblings and I knew what “no” meant and understood (to the extent any child can) why we couldn’t have and do the same things as our friends.
  • I have come to understand the value of a dollar, the importance of saving, and the importance of sharing my wealth with those who need it more – whether monetarily, through food donations, or through volunteer work.
  • I know the value of hard work and honesty and have made these virtues important pillars in my life.
  • I’ve always been one to love learning for the sake of learning. My parents read to me daily, often several times over the course of a day and although I didn’t always get the toy I wanted, my mother never said no to a new book. My family regularly went on trips to the zoo, museums, and sometimes even out of state, which allowed my brother, sister, and I to experience new facets of the world and temporarily satisfy our restlessly curious minds.  
  • We saw my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on a weekly basis. The countless hours spent with relatives served to emphasize the importance of family in my life. 
  • My family has always supported me financially, encouraged me to do well academically, and allowed me to pursue my dreams. I am grateful to have been able to go to college without working on the side or taking out huge loans.   
  • I always had a roof over my head, good food on the table, and happily married parents.

All of these things, I’ve taken for granted far too many times.

At 22, I look at the people around me – my peers of whom I was so envious 5 and 15 years ago – and I pity them a bit. So many people in my generation seem lost, searching for love and meaning in their life, clueless as to where to find it. As I witness this, I realize just how lucky I am to have been brought up in a family that values education, love, and morals. And not only did my parents hold these principles in high regard; they would rest at no cost to ensure that these same values would be instilled in their children. For this, I am eternally grateful to them.

So if life ever seems unfair, parents seem too strict, and peers are unremittingly cruel, just be patient. Being young and having idealistic views of family, principles, love, and life is hard – people don’t seem to understand why one would care, why one would waste their time.

I advise you: Be patient.

There will come a day when the tables will turn. That girl who always seemed so different and “uncool” now has several things that the girl with everything will never have. Money can’t buy childhood. Money can’t buy values. And money can’t buy love.  

Children, learn to appreciate all your parents have done for you. I didn’t realize any of this before going away to college. I truly wish I had sooner.

Parents, as a daughter and a young adult, I want you to know that the best gifts my parents ever gave me were not a bike or a gaming system, but rather a wonderful education (both in the classroom and at home), consistent discipline, the teaching of life lessons, and time spent together as a family. Kids will fight it – they’ll cry about how you don’t love them and about how their friends will make fun of them for not being cool. I know I did. Children neither understand the art of nor the implications of future-oriented thinking. As a parent, it is your responsibility to decide what will be best for your child in the long run – a gaming system that will be out-of-date within a year or two, or values and knowledge that will guide them for the rest of their life.

Give your child the opportunity to live the privileged life, whatever you feel that to be.